Mamaw Pugh’s (my Grandmother’s) Testimony

—And the more we went, the more interested we were, and the more the Lord dealt with us, you know. And He just sent that raw power. We just had to go back the next night. My health was bad way back by then. I wasn’t able to go out in the night or anything, hardly able to do anything, but still the Lord made me able when I got started in this.

And the Lord was really dealing with us. One night, I had a dream.

Clear down through my life, and especially in my Christianity life since I’ve been a Christian, the Lord has showed me so many things and told me so many things in dreams. And when I have a certain kind of a dream, well, I know there’s more to it than just a dream.

I know the Lord’s trying to tell me something. And so one night I dreamed, uh,

Now listen to this. I thought we was out there in the Daleburg Church in that revival. I thought they sung the invitation song. And here’s what they sung. Standing outside the portals. Johnny, you know that song, don’t you? It’s an old song. Standing outside denied. Would you be in that number standing outside?

Y’all know it? I’ve heard it. Lydia, you know it, don’t you? Yeah, I know. Yeah. It’s a good song. It’s such a beautiful song. Well, I thought they was a-sangin’ that, you know, and it was so pretty.

And you know, when they got through singin’ that, I woke up right then. The old clock struck 1 o’clock. And when I woke up, oh, I said, surely that dream was for me. Lord, it’s me a-standing outside the portal. That’s me, that’s me, Lord. Well, you know, I believe I began

began to repent from right then, right on down through the week. I kept on telling the Lord, “Lord, be patient with me. I’m going to get right. I’m going to turn to you. I’m going to serve you the rest of my days.” And I couldn’t get away from that song. I knew it was for me.

Well, the Lord made it very plain that it wasn’t. And I thought, “Well, how strange. Now, nobody never has sung that song in that revival. Nobody. It’s never been sung,” I thought. Went on to on Saturday night, but now the Lord works everything out and there’s a time and a place for everything and He’ll work it out according to His own good pleasure, won’t He?

And on Saturday night, I never will forget, we went out there and we had us a good service, good preaching, all. And they give the altar call for old Iron Man Richard Stanton. And you know the devil just put everything in your mind if you are a backslider. The devil will say— he talks something like this, and they say, “Now you go down there and they’ll all like that, and they’ll all talk back.” They say, “There she goes now, get all warmed over.” Oh, the devil’s putting everything in my mind to keep me from going to the altar, you know.

Well, there we sat, and I believe my husband felt the same way I did. Sort of froze, froze to our seats. And after they had the invitation song, And the altar call for little Nelson, he got up and he said this. He said, “I believe honestly there’s people here that ought to come to an altar tonight.” And he said, “We’re going to extend the altar call just a little fuckin’ and give ’em a little more chance here.” And he said, “Martha.” Martha was the doin’ the singin’, the leadin’ the singin’ then.

He said, “Martha, I want you to sing that now.” To show you how the Spirit of the Lord works. He said, “Martha, I want you to sing that song,

‘Standing Outside of the Portals.'” Nobody never had sung it. I never told my dream to a living soul. I haven’t even told my husband. Well, maybe you think I didn’t have funny feeling, —said that. They started to singing, and when they started to singing it, it was exactly like up here in my dream.

Just the same thing. And there it was, and the Lord was pointing it out to me so plain. He said, “Now there it is. There’s your chance. There’s your chance. There it is.”

Well, I said, “We could have lived We better get in shape tonight, don’t you? He said, “Yes, I’m ready.” We got up, we went down there, and I knelt at one end of the altar, and he knelt at the other. The women got around me, the men got around him.

And the Lord, he knows all of our fears and everything that disturbs us or bothers us. He knows more about us than we know ourselves. And I do have a heart ailment. Which bothered me more about that then than it does now. And I had told the Lord a lot of times during the last few days since I’d had this dream, you know, “Why, Lord, if I have to stay there and pray so hard and so long like a lot of people that I have seen, I don’t know if my heart is going to hold up or not.” And that bothered me a little bit, you know.

That bothered me a little bit. Well, the Lord knows how to take care of it all, don’t He? And you know, I didn’t pray but a very few minutes and all of a sudden there wasn’t nothing else to say. I just stopped praying. And I said to myself, I said, “Lord, what may I pray?” He said, “Get up, you’re saved.” I just got up.

The Lord saved me in a flash. Quiet like this. Yeah, a lot of times they shout all over the place, but I didn’t right then. But down in here there was some rejoicing and shouting going on, way down in my heart, you know. There was some rejoicing and shouting going on, and I just got up and took Sister Ophelia by the hand.

I said, “The Lord has saved me!” Turned around, walked back to my seat, and sat down. But I remember as I told you a while ago how good everybody looked to me. As I walked back, I seen that I was completely changed. I said, “Yes, Lord. Yes, you’ve done something for me.

I’m different.” I began to realize that I was completely different.

Well, the Lord saved me, and my husband, he got saved too. We both got saved in that revival. Well, we come home a-rejoicing that night and feeling good. And I’ve heard Brother Purcell say that Sister Few was saved in such a quiet way that he really doubted if I really got the blessing.

He said actually he sort of doubted it when I went back to my seat. He said to himself, “I’m kind of afraid she ain’t went deep enough.” But he said it wasn’t very long till I began to see she really did have the blessing. —The devil didn’t hold me down for very long.

I soon forgot about that hard ailment, and I’m kind of loud now, have been ever since. Yeah, yeah. And so, well, we just got started going, and in the same revival we were both sanctified. Well, the Lord just done wonders for us, and He had a blessing every time we turned around.

We just got started to go in church. We’d go have Thursday time. nights Never miss a night where I hadn’t been able to go no more. See, the Lord’s able to make us able. And I’d do my work the next day and feel very well, go to church that night.

Well, I kept that up. My, we was having the time of our life. But now, we didn’t get in very much too quick. I think, best I remember, my husband just lived about 2 years after that, and one day the Lord called And just like that, it was gone.

That’s what I’m saying. Well, then it wasn’t very long after that, one day the voice of the Lord came to me and He said, “Go preach my word and help spread the gospel to a lost and dying world.” And I was not going to say it, and I thought it, but, uh-oh, Lord, That’s not the voice of the Lord.

Now I’m letting my imagination run away with me. Anybody knows the Lord’s not going to call me to preach. I just refuse to believe that. That’s my imagination. I’m just letting my— I push that from off my mind. You know how we are, us such people, that if we don’t want to do what the Lord’s asking us to do and we kind of want to get out of it, we’re inclined to try to push it off our mind and get away from it.

—something. We’re in a trying period. Well, I pushed off in mind of telling myself that, “Well, you know the devil ain’t gonna say that to you. Anybody knows the devil ain’t gonna say, ‘Go teach my word and spread the gospel to a lost and dying world.'” Well, went along pretty good for 2 or 3 days, and the Lord come right back again, “Go preach my word and let’s spread the gospel to a lost and dying world.” Well, then it was so real, there was no pushing it away.

I realized that most for sure it was the voice of the Lord. Well, then I began to make my excuses to the Lord, you know. And up until then, children, I never thought very much of the woman preacher. Oh no, I didn’t. No, I told my husband, “Anytime I’d rather hear a man preach than a woman.” Maybe that’s why the Lord made me preach.

I don’t know.— I know it used to be maybe a woman come in and hold a revival. We could do it. He said, “Let’s go, let’s go.” “Oh,” I said, “every time a woman comes to this town you got to go if you’re a preacher. I’d rather you’re not.” He said, “Well, don’t be too hard on the woman preacher.” Well,

and I begin to argue with the Lord. Now the Lord didn’t argue with me, you know, He don’t argue, but I’ll tell you what He does do. We don’t be a Christian very long till He lays our job out for us and He makes it plain. And we can take it or we can leave it, but just as sure if we don’t take it, we’ll lose our experience with the Lord and die and be lost.

I know that because I’ve experienced these things. Well, that just got on me and I wouldn’t tell nobody. And I got to where— and I’d tell the Lord, I said, “Well, Lord, you’ve got plenty of people more qualified for that and more with a better anbility than me. Why, I don’t know one thing about preaching, Lord.

You know I don’t. I just don’t know anything about it. Why, I can’t see myself as a preacher.” I just can’t see myself a preacher. Never know anything about the Bible until after I got saved. But after I got saved, I began to read it, and the Lord began to show it, and it began to open up.

And I would— I said, “I don’t know what to do about that. I just don’t see how in the world.” Well, children, you can argue with the Lord for a while. You can be on a standstill for a while. But then the times are going to come you’re going to have to move.

Upwards or downwards. You can’t stay on top of the fence forever. Now, I’ll tell you what I done, and this was a terrible thing to do, but I did. That got so strong on me that I really got worried. And I felt, “Lord, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

I’m afraid.” At that time, went down to Little Kentucky Christian Church at Rigdon. I said, “I’m afraid I’ll go down there, and I’m always jumping up and testifying, and that’ll just come out.” “Ah, it ain’t matter.” I’ll tell the people I’m called to preach, and I don’t want to.

I don’t want to tell the people I’m called to preach. I cannot see myself a-preachin’. Lord, you got plenty people that knows the Bible and plenty more educated, with plenty words in the Bible I can’t even pronounce. But the word still kept comin’, “Go preach my word and help to spread the Gospel to a lost and dyin’ world.” And finally, that worried me and it got on me so much, and one day I got prayin’, I told the Lord this, Now, this is a terrible thing to do, but I done it.

I said, “Lord, no.

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you saved me and sanctified me, and I know that I’m not the same person that I was. I’m so different, and I know that. And I want to serve you, and I never wanted anything anymore in my life than I do to go to heaven when I leave here.

And I know that you

You have changed me and I refuse to give up. I said, I just simply refuse. I’ll never give up. I said, I may die and be lost, but I’ll go praying. I won’t give up. But here’s what I’m going to do, Lord. The Lord likes for you to have determination, and that’s what it takes.

If you didn’t, the devil would pick you out right quick. I said, now, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do, Lord. I don’t know nothing about this preaching. I’m just going to quit going to church, stay at home. But I refuse. I refuse to step out into sin any way or anyhow.

I will not. I’m gonna live the very best I know how, and I’m gonna read my Bible every day. I’m gonna pray to my God and trust you for the best of it. I said I refuse to backslide. I just ain’t going to. I’m gonna do my best and trust you for the best of it.

But now I’m gonna quit going to church on account of I’m afraid I’m gonna get up to Why, how can I tell the people to go on to preach? I don’t want to do that. Alright, I’ll quit going to church. Would you believe me? And I can prove this if it was necessary.

For some of them that I went to church with, young rascals, well, I just quit going to church after I said it. And I felt like somebody locked up in the penitentiary. That people that’s locked up in penitentiaries and enjoying life just as much as I was. And I would, I’d read my Bible and I’d pray and I lived just the best that I could.

But I didn’t understand that, that preaching. I just couldn’t see myself. Well, and I never told a living soul. Always was between me and the Lord. Between me and the Lord. Never told a living soul. Well, some of the people that went to church with me and run around with me got sort of worried about me.

And the talk was going about us Sister Hughes walked out. Sister Hughes backslid. She’s backslid again. She’s backslid again. But I had not. I had never backslidden yet. And that went on for nearly 2 years. That’s a long time to be on the standstill, but it’s true. But it comes a time and a place that we’ve got to settle a thing with the Lord.

It comes a time and a place. One morning,

I got up, “Mandaraba nasek,” walked out my little kitchen. I could see the very spot where it sat, back when I lived with Brother. And a great desire come over me to go to church at the afternoon. I thought, “Oh Lord, how I would love to go to Sunday school and church this morning.

How I would enjoy it.” —”I’ve preached you enough today. But I guess I can’t go. I’m afraid old Caleb, he couldn’t call the priest. I guess I’ll just have to stay here.” Well, the old devil was right there. Now, don’t you think the devil hasn’t got power? For he has.

And he’ll exercise every speck of power he’s got for your soul, for my soul, to try to win us. He was that close to me and just was preaching me aside. He said, “Why don’t you just throw up your hands and forget it all? It’s not for you no way, and quit!

Why, if the Lord’s going to make you preach, you know you can’t preach. Just quit! Just quit, Sir Norwood, you might as well.” Well, you know, I began to get a little bit on dangerous ground. it began to roll across my mind something like this: “Well, you reckon I am fooling in all this?

You reckon I hadn’t just as well quit?” Not hardly realizing that that was the devil standing right there telling me all that. But I thank the good Lord for that little verse of scripture in the Bible where He said, I’ll not leave you, I’ll not let you be tempted more than above what you’re able to bear.

But in the time of your temptation, I’ll make a way for your escape. Well, the Lord done just that for me that very morning, and I thank him for it today. Alright, all the time it was 3 of us to stand with my mother. I was here, the devil was there, the Lord was right there.

And the Lord spoke to me very plainly again. This is the same as I’m talking to you all. What do you think He said? He had not changed one bit. He said, “Go preach my Word.” Spread the Gospel. That’s right. To a lost and a dying world.

And then He went a little further than that that time. He said, “If you don’t,” I’ll push you out of the way and put somebody else in that will. Well, He’ll do that if we don’t mind it. You see what that would mean? And when He said that, children, I stood in the middle of the floor and right down in front of me, my, my, I saw a horrible picture, a picture I’ll never forget as long as I live.

Sometimes the Lord has to shake us right over the pits of hell to show us where we’re going to go if we don’t go His way. I looked down, down, down, red, deep, dark. I never did see the bottom of it. The worst, the turbulent picture I ever saw in my life, right there in front of me.

And the Lord had just said, “If you don’t stop Get you out of the way, put somebody else in the crib. Well, I know for him, for the lion, he was making that thing. Oh, tears began to roll down my face. I began to— I began to cry. There I stood, a-crying and a-praying.

I guess anybody come around and seen me, they’d thought I was crazy. They’d have thought I was standing there by myself, but I wasn’t by myself. The Lord was on my right side and the devil was on my left. But there’s one thing the old devil cannot I understand there’s one thing we can fight him with and always win, and that’s prayer.

When we start praying, the devil starts to fade away and get out of the picture. He stops there. And I prayed something like this. I still remember it, kind of how I prayed it. I said, “Oh Lord, you know all about me, and I’m glad that you do. And I don’t want to go to that terrible place that you call torment.

Now, I don’t want to go there. I say, Lord, please don’t push me out. Don’t do that to me. Lord, you know what I want to serve. You know I want to go to heaven with you more than I ever want anything in my life. Now, Lord, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do right now, right here, right now.

I’m going to surrender my will to Your will. If preach I must in order to be able to go to Heaven when I leave here, I’m just going to have enough of the grace of the Lord in me to go down my church and tell them I’m called to preach.

And I’ll try, as I don’t know one thing about it. But you see, I wasn’t furred enough advanced, or hadn’t been a Christian furred enough and long enough to realize or know that I had to put all that into the Lord’s hands. I said, “Jim, he’s a preacher. I’m not. I still can’t preach, but I’ve learned to trust the Lord for things.” I said, “Don’t push me out, and I’ll start going to church.

I’ll tell the people I’m called to preach.” And I did. Honey, I come out of that little house of preaching, I’m still a preacher. Every time I get a chance, an opportunity, I’m still a preacher. And it never has been a time yet, and never has, that I’ve had to get up in a church or in anybody’s home or anywhere to preach a little message.

There never has been a time that the Lord wasn’t outside of ya.